Wednesday, August 8, 2007

The Gov'nor

Alright Ladies and Gentleman, it's time for me to introduce you to someone you might already know, though probably not in the manner in which you should.


This man's name is Lenny McLean, and you may have seen him in such films as "The Fifth Element" in which he played the Chief of Police, or in "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" in which he played the big tough guy who's name I forget. None of the above is important in comparison to who he really was, which is the King of Underground Bare-knuckle Boxing.

If you thought Pikeys were tough, then you are in for a treat. This man was nothing short of a monster - nothing short of a Spartan. I believe that if any of us were to choose nine of the toughest people we knew and have a fight with Lenny, us 10 vs himself alone, Lenny would come out on top. It is estimated that he has been in over 3000 fights in his entire life, including ones on the streets or "Cobbles" as he calls them, and ones in the ring. Admittedly he has lost 2 - 3 fights in his entire life, but I believe that those 2 - 3 times were because either someone fucking cheated, or he wasn't in his prime or something. He was a MONSTER! Besides being incredibly skilled, he was mindblowingly strong - routinely bench pressing upwards of 500 lbs. He started off as a bouncer, and quickly got into underground boxing. He rose to the top of that faster than backwards lightning, and sought better competition. He challenged the likes of Mr. T and Mohammad Ali, all of whom turned him down, because they didn't want to get their asses handed to them in a union jack package.

One of his greatest credits I believe is when he was flown to New York City to fight the Mafia's top choice boxer. The poor fucker didn't last three minutes with the guv'nor. One of his famous tactics involved walking into his opponents with his arms down smiling while they tried to affect him with their punches. Fat chance - he was invincible. He would take the blows and then when he got bored he would knock them into SSSPPPAAAACCEEEE!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=FUcFx-PEiTg

There aren't many video's of Lenny in action, and the ones that exist look like they were filmed on my ass, but this one isn't bad. This is a perfect example of how the best tactic to fight Lenny would be to grab your ankles, smile and wait for it all to be over. As famous as he is for winning his fights, he is also famous for hitting his opponent after they have been knocked out. Ho shit.

Sadly there aren't any bare knuckle boxers right now that would give Lenny a run for his money - mind you there are some really good ones right now like Kimbo Slice ( I will talk of him later), but nobody that would come close to doing him in. In the martial arts world, however, I imagine there would be a few exceptional fighters who might be able to bring him down - Bas Rutten or some BJJ masters and such.

All of that I will talk about later, but for the now you should research a bit on your own about Lenny McLean - The Gov'nor, and tell me if you would use any tactics in particular to lose less harshly to one of the scariest people the world has ever known.

all the best,
Alex

4 comments:

Kerry said...

that fecker is horrifying. he's like a large house, only with arms that kill your pride a split second before they kill you.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I would bring a small pistol that I would hide in my glove. He'd probably like the feeling of the bullet though.

Anonymous said...

Anybody whose track record consists of box office extravaganza smash hit record breaking edge of your seat blow you through the back of the theater wonders such as Snatch and Fifth element, supplemented by terror inducing street battles gets a gold star in my book.

Anonymous said...

People should read this.